Comprehend my actions, i dare you.

I deserve the best, and I should not settle for less than what I deserve.
Here I am thinking how nice it would be just to have someone around for the holidays, someone to be with when it gets cold, someone to hold hands with or drink hot coco (someone besides my friends) So what did I do? I settled. ME! I settled! I have not cared about someone strongly for a long, long time. So here I am thinking that this guy could be it. Then the more I start thinking, the more I start wonder why am I doing this to myself? I deserve better. Not saying I need to be treated like a princess, but god! For once i’d like to not be told how “hot” I am, or how much you’re friends want to “do” me. It’s getting so old. I just want someone to do NOTHING with. Someone to share comfortable silence with, without it being awkward. Forget looking, forget WANTING. Something will come my way, and when it does, it will be perfect. Until then i’m not settling.

The one who shouts they are independent, are merely not. As for the ones who claim they are over it.

The more I think about it the more I realise, I am special and I should be treated as such. Now when it comes down to boys I may not know how to “pick em’” but i’d like to say I do a decent job. But for once, just for once when I think I find a perfect match, something happens to make me not think that. Is it so hard to open up my door? Is it that hard to wait until I’m inside before you leave? And what sucks is that this whole time while i’m making a list of things I really don’t like about you, I can’t help but think am i really doing it again? I’m afraid of commitment, I understand that. So do I just run like I always do? No. I’m not running. I’m just asking to be treated fairly. I actually like this guy, which is no good. But is it THAT hard to want to be treated like I’m worth something?